It doesn't have to be about Coaching, it could just be about listening, just having a conversation with a colleague or a friend.
My reality of a meeting, will not be another's reality of that same meeting. Here are some questions that I ask myself, maybe in my head and sometimes, depending on the trust, I will ask them out aloud.
What is it that I am not seeing?
What is it that I am not hearing?
What is it that I am not experiencing?
What is it that I am not feeling?
I have often used the above, Assagioli’s “Star” diagram, to show how the relationship our Self is linked to our personality and our psychological functions. Psychological functions being basic capabilities we rely on for awareness and for taking action – both internally and in the world.
And I use this approach when I'm planning, in a meeting, coaching, a retrospective etc and it's having the presence of awareness to know what part of you is being used to make sense of the world around you. Imagine someone who always uses their Emotion / Feeling when trading on the stock market or roadmapping a sales strategy.
There are some people who just use Thought, all they use is their cognitive, thinking style to work out issues, problems or how they are in relationships. And there are people who love to rely on just their Intuition, ignoring any logical, analytical thought that comes into their head.
Why am I showing you this?
Well, being mindful or having an awareness of what dominant function you are using will help you depending on the context. Using Impulse / Desire in a senior management meeting, in a time of crisis, may or may not serve you well. Using just Thought, when you are trying to engage team members during problematic times.
Have the presence to use all of your psychological functions, so you can assimilate and create a better emotional resonance with the situation and the people around you.
We are human and we've a choice about how to use these brilliant, effulgent abilities. Each ability has its positive and negative; the duality of being. Be aware of the impact that over-dominance will have.
Do you respond or do you react? There's a difference.
Bring mindfulness and the practice of being present into your day to day and see the difference.
"When you take your attention into the present moment, a certain alertness arises. You become more conscious of what's around you, but also, strangely, a sense of presence that is both within and without." - Eckhart Tolle